Double Post

Because I'm trying to get you to ignore the one before this one.
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I laughed at this one. Was it because I could relate?
No... I wouldn't call myself a mistake.

More of an accident. A pleasant accident.

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APUSH test tomorrow. I honestly don't care. I'm tired of comparing.
I think that's what it all comes down to. From comparing individual test scores, to what GPA you have, to what college you'll go to, to what job you're going to have. All to appease this beast of a thing that lives in each of us, that tells us that we need to validate ourselves by being seen as smart. Successful.

Then there's the people that want security. Work hard now, so there's no troubles later.
Later they'll realize that the "work hard phase" of their lives never ends. They'll keep labouring through high school, college, and then their careers. Until they forget what they were working for.

I feel so alone, in that I think this way. I might be wrong. But I'm pretty sure there's a hint of truth to what I'm saying.

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But I know I'm not alone in some things I lie in bed thinking about. I know that I'm not the only one that sees the messed up things ourselves and other people do, and think humans weren't meant to do these things. We were meant to do good. Somewhere along the line, we were broken. And we've been lying to ourselves ever since.

I know I'm not the only one who sees the order and structure of the universe, and questions the possibility of it all being random. Science and philosophy can explain everything rationally until they get to love. Why human beings are able to love, and have an innate need for love. They won't touch love.

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And now I think I've trespassed into dangerous waters. I am not welcome here in the midnight hours. I envy those that can stay up until the wee hours of the morning and still manage to ward off the sluggishness of lethargy and sleep deprivation.

Me? Consider me an iron giant tomorrow. I will move. I will talk. I will show all the telltale signs that I am alive. But I will show no life.

A pitiful existence. But time stops for no one.
Not even a giant.