Ironic. Since the time I wrote Double Post I was also studying for APUSH. What is it about APUSH tests that make me want to do anything but study?
The premise was simple. We got a sheet of questions and 15 minutes of quiet time. Ken said to think about the past week, view it like a movie, and use what you saw to fill in the sheet. The sheet just had questions like, "What moments sticked out to you and why?" and "What moments did you feel God present in your life?". But I never got to those questions. I spent about 14 minutes going through every moment I could remember about every day of that past week.
It was invigorating. Thoughts and feelings flowed through me like rushing water. Remembering those beautiful moments, the awkward moments, and everything in between moments was so refreshing. I had to pinch myself to return to my senses, and realize I was sitting in a corner of a Sanctuary in Youth Group on a Friday night, and not on some roller coaster of my past.
What I think is that we're on cruise control all the time. Not the kind of cruising where we take everything easy, but the kind where we never stop moving. It seems logical. There's always a project or test the next week to think about. No point in lingering on today's events and feelings.
But if we can't even remember what we did last week, how will we learn? Self improvement comes not only from huge life-changing events, but from the small and mundane ones too. You know where I'm going with this. I want you to try what I tried that Friday night.
I know it seems crazy and unnecessary. Like I just joined a cult, and I'm trying to recruit you too. But its not that out there. Trust me.
I've posted this one before. But it kinda fits. And its been really picture barren on recent posts.
So recently I've been going through some problems. Same old, Same old. But I looked back and there was something radically different. When I was fighting with my parents, I had an entirely new mindset.
It was pretty mind-blowing. I had nothing to prove, no self image to preserve, nothing I wanted to scream back. I was, more or less, calm. I stated my points without raising my voice, and held my tongue when something wasn't worth mentioning.
I'd like to say all these things were a hundred percent true, but it would be more accurate to say most of the time I held to these things. And I'm glad for that.
Also, as I was thinking about it, I started questioning the metaphorical language we use with problems. Let me explain a little better: we deal with problems. We handle situations. We face hardships. 'Deal' and 'Handle' make it sound like we are correcting an unruly child. 'Face' makes it sound like problems are the enemy.
I want to say, 'problems are not the enemy, or something to be avoided, because they ultimately make us stronger in the end.' I want to say, like I read recently, 'these mountains we face will look like hills in hindsight.' I really want to say that the suffering we will face will be worth it.
But I honestly don't know. These aren't my words. They're someone else's. Thinking hard about things only gets you so far. Teaching comes from experience. I don't really have any.
'Struggle' would be a much better word to use, I think. We struggle with things. I struggle with things. It hurts. It's difficult. There's no clear cut resolution, where we 'deal' or 'handle' it. And it's probably not just Me vs. My problems. If there's any fighting going on, it's just as much with myself as it is with the issues.
I guess I just want to remind myself. And all of you guys too. I don't always know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I'm hypocritical. I jest at scars but have never felt a wound. I talk about things I have yet to understand. Sometimes I'm just wrong. So take everything I write with a grain of salt. After all, what makes my judgment any better than yours? I would hate if anything I did gave people an excuse to not to think about things themselves. That would make this blog nothing better than propoganda. I hope you'll try to live by one of my philosophies, which is to view everything critically. Test and approve it, if not against God's will, than against your own logic and morals. You have a brilliant mind. Use it.
Will it help a little if I told you everyone struggles with our constant struggling against our struggles? Most of us turn our backs on our problems and always hope that tomorrow will be a better day than today. People say we live in the past, but I think we actually focus more on the future, or what we want our futures to be. Point is, we never focus on our present.
ReplyDeleteYou know the struggles you're facing? Or 'struggling,' if you prefer? Each one gives you the privilege to talk about it, analyze what went wrong, and then forget about it. It's like getting shot by a bullet and then melting the bullet into armor. Never say you have no experiences. Everyday is a new struggle, and those always bring experiences. You know how in those games where you kill the enemy and then gain experience? Same deal.
You don't have to teach, but never say you don't have anything. Think about it, all those phrases and fortune cookie sayings all come from people who've experienced it all before.
Just something to think about.