Feeling #5
Discontentment. The kind that feels like there's an invisible weight on your chest. Like somewhere, someone inside of you is suffocating. Suddenly, and for some stupid small reason, it was all in vain.
I don't know if this helps in explaining it, but its almost exactly like what you feel when you're at the lowest part of a movie. Everything ended up screwing up, usually because of some kind of misunderstanding. And you can't wait for the happy ending to come and set you free from that torture. And it's also a lot like...
Feeling #6
This one's about feeling other people's pain. You hear about some stuff they're going through, and you wish somehow, someway, you could go through it instead of them. Again, you feel kind of helpless and discontent. It's almost as if you're suffering with them.
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Before I go back to my normal life, where I talk like a normal person and never go in depth with things or share personal stuff with others, I'd like to address something I should've talked about a while back.
I am immensely grateful for any comments, feedback, and compliments I get about this blog. Only, it might not be obvious, because I never respond to comments. But that's because I can't think of a worthy response to fully thank you guys, and any attempt on my part to do so would be inadequate. So I will take the time here to truly and sincerely thank you guys for reading whatever I end up writing here. I am indebted to you.
And if there's any suggestions, anything I'm doing wrong or stupidly here, I'd love to hear it. If you don't let me know, my feelings will be hurt. You know what that means. I'll end up having to add another page to my feeling log.
I read this one and a portion of the last your 'feelings' entry. It's just that I possess a rather short attention span and I wasn't able to read 'em all, haha.
ReplyDeleteI think I can definitely relate to a lot of things you're feeling. Discontentment ,for one, as well as the piece you wrote about 'her'... It's a constant struggle (personally, at least) trying to balance my desires for maintaining worldly relationships vs. placing my true hopes in my faith and religion -- God. Then again, how could the desire to LOVE be a bad thing when we're taught to love? I mean it's a point of discussion that could continue for hours, but I just wanted to let you know that there's no easy way out of it haha. If anything though, it's merely an indication that you have a loving heart: a heart that wants to give.
We can talk more about this sometime when we're both feeling deep and reflective, hehe.
As for #6, I couldn't agree with you more. It pains me... literally PAINS me to realize how helpless I am in not being able to help others or make enough of a difference in their lives. I think this is supposed to lead to an eventual epiphany that we are to lift these things up to God. But personally, I'm not quite there yet. If anything, the pains of others (and my inability to help them) angers and frustrates me to no end. Again, though, this is not a bad thing. It's a simple and beautiful illustration of your pure and giving heart.
Randomly and interestingly enough, your posts remind me of a good friend I had back in high school. He was passionately into film and script writing - have you ever considered these areas? =p