A Kind of Satire

APUSH test tomorrow. This means, of course, that it's time for some major blogging. The following is something I've thought of posting, but never really knew how to execute. Let's see how I do:
                                                     
Wanna come to church with me? So, like, you won't go to hell. Okay, so what happened was that all people were going to hell after they died because they sinned, so God came and sent Jesus to die so that we can go to heaven instead. All you have to do is stop sinning(you know, cussing, having sex before you're married, that kind of stuff) and you'll be set. Oh, and hell's that one place where the devil lives, and if you go there, you spend an eternity suffering all kinds of pains. Yeah, I know, that would suck wouldn't it? So what do you say, wanna come with me on Sunday?

Hey, what'd you think of the service? Boring, right? Yeah, it's a lot more fun on Fridays, 'cause we play games and sing better songs. Praying? Oh, that's when you bow your heads and interlock your fingers and close your eyes and ask God for stuff. Hold on, I think I remember the list from Sunday School... We repent and ask God for forgiveness, we pray for our friends and family, and then we thank God for all the stuff He's given us. And you have to end it with "in Jesus's name I pray, Amen". You're supposed to pray before meals to thank God for the food, and before you sleep. And then, of course, in church like we just did. Haha yeah, but it's not that bad once you make a habit of it. Alright, hope to see you next week!

Hey man, what's with the serious look all of a sudden? Uh, it's like what I've said before. Christianity's about going to heaven. Personal relationship with Jesus? Where did you... oh. So you talked to the pastor. But that stuff's just for the pastors and philosophers, who get all deep into things. What? No it's not... But I said... Listen man, your making things a lot harder than they have to be. Keep it simple, man. It'll be a lot easier on you if you take it as it is. God loves us, and wants us to be happy, and what you're doing is just rocking the boat. I hope you get back to your senses soon. I kinda miss the old you.
                                                      
Completely fictional. I am referencing no one in particular. I just wanna see what you guys make of this.